I cannot begin to fathom the life that MJ had to endure. Sure he had Wealth, fame, power....etc.
Imagine though for a minute, having the pressure of being the bread winner of your family at the age of 7. Imagine having to give up all the things you loved to do like climbing trees, going to the park, playing sports...or even worse...giving up the freedom to be able to just step out your front door without being mobbed by fans pulling on your clothes or your hair...imagine how scary that would have been for a young boy. Having to give up your life to feed your family at such a young age. To me he was the original Benjamin Button. He literally lived his life backwards...He had to be a Man when he was a young boy...and then wanted to be a boy when he was a man. You can see it in his eyes in pictures...he looks so old in his younger years and so playful and full of mischief in his older years. And then people wonder why he was so different....is it any wonder?
Friday, April 6, 2012
Friday, September 30, 2011
My HIStory with MJ
I just cant stress enough how MJ has helped to shape my life. Growing up listening to him preach about how we all need to love one another like the brothers and sisters that we are, to help those in need, that love heals all, to forgive, to be compassionate, and to be childlike, but not childish.
I am heading off to Africa in just over a month to volunteer in an orphanage for malnourished children. Once the orphan is healthy he or she is reunited with their family if they are willing to take the child back. My duties will be to feed, bathe and play with the children. I am so excited. This is something I have always wanted to do and I believe the reason I feel so passionately about it is because of the influence Michael Jackson had on me at such an early age. I am so grateful for his influence, this trip will be a life altering one I am sure. I just wish people would choose to see the good that he tried to bring to the world, and not see the oddities that the media helped to create about him.
There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about Michael, I actually believe that he was a prophet sent here by God to help spread his message of peace and love. There... I said it. thats what i believe, and I dont care if you think i am crazy. I believe this with every fiber of my being. he was my hero, and i truly feel blessed to have grown up in the generation that I did. People need to forget how he was portrayed in the media and go back and listen to all his music...not the hits...but the other songs...the ones that mean something...and see what a amazing inspirational man Mj truly was. He was NOT Jesus. but he tried to live like Jesus in many ways.
I am heading off to Africa in just over a month to volunteer in an orphanage for malnourished children. Once the orphan is healthy he or she is reunited with their family if they are willing to take the child back. My duties will be to feed, bathe and play with the children. I am so excited. This is something I have always wanted to do and I believe the reason I feel so passionately about it is because of the influence Michael Jackson had on me at such an early age. I am so grateful for his influence, this trip will be a life altering one I am sure. I just wish people would choose to see the good that he tried to bring to the world, and not see the oddities that the media helped to create about him.
There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about Michael, I actually believe that he was a prophet sent here by God to help spread his message of peace and love. There... I said it. thats what i believe, and I dont care if you think i am crazy. I believe this with every fiber of my being. he was my hero, and i truly feel blessed to have grown up in the generation that I did. People need to forget how he was portrayed in the media and go back and listen to all his music...not the hits...but the other songs...the ones that mean something...and see what a amazing inspirational man Mj truly was. He was NOT Jesus. but he tried to live like Jesus in many ways.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
About Michael...Just not THAT Michael.
Have you ever noticed throughout the years of your life how certain people never totally leave you? You might run into them from time to time, or you dream about them, or they just creep into your thoughts. They are linked to you in some way.
There is a guy that I worked with that constantly creeps into my life. He is around 24 years old. We trained him to become a butcher. H was an excellent worker and actually became a Butcher...one of the best. He had a really bad attitude though. He was moody, came in late and was quite bossy. they tranferred him to Toronto where he was given a fulltime job. After working there for a couple months he was fired because it was discovered that he had a drug problem. He was doing crack.
He would pop into our store every once in a while to say hello. Most times he was high as a kite and could barely stand upright. We all felt a bit sorry for him, and tried to inform his mother of what was going on. she tried to get him some help but as you know, you cannot make someone do anything that they don't want to do.
He started working at Price Coppers, but got fired for stealing there, then he worked with a paving company but got fired from there as well. Hes been arrested at least 3 times that I know of.
About three weeks back He came into our back room. I was the only one working. I was shocked! He looked awesome! He was completely clean, was wearing nice clothes, had a hair cut...he just looked so Normal! He was very nice and asked if I could write him a reference letter for a job he was applying for. I said no problem as I feel that if someone is trying to get on their feet you should give them a helping hand. i wrote him the letter. later that day a lady phoned from the job he was applying for and I gave him a good character reference.
3 days later I saw him in the shoppers drugmart with his stepfather. he told me that he got the job and thanked me for giving him the reference. He looked so happy. I felt great that I had given him the reference. i was hoping that act of kindness would be a turning point in his life.
yesterday he came back to my store when i was working. he was so high he almost fell over a few times. He told me he got fired from the job because he got arrested and couldn't make it to work. he looked so alone and sad.
All i could think about was this 24 year old kid was wasting his life. he had so much potential, he wasn't a bad guy, he just had alot of problems. he could have done anything with his life. he was smart, worked hard..its just so damn depressing.
It really made me wonder why this kid keeps popping up in my life. I guess its better that he pops in and out of it instead of reading his name in the obituaries. I wish there was a way to help him...but I know he has to help himself.
There is a guy that I worked with that constantly creeps into my life. He is around 24 years old. We trained him to become a butcher. H was an excellent worker and actually became a Butcher...one of the best. He had a really bad attitude though. He was moody, came in late and was quite bossy. they tranferred him to Toronto where he was given a fulltime job. After working there for a couple months he was fired because it was discovered that he had a drug problem. He was doing crack.
He would pop into our store every once in a while to say hello. Most times he was high as a kite and could barely stand upright. We all felt a bit sorry for him, and tried to inform his mother of what was going on. she tried to get him some help but as you know, you cannot make someone do anything that they don't want to do.
He started working at Price Coppers, but got fired for stealing there, then he worked with a paving company but got fired from there as well. Hes been arrested at least 3 times that I know of.
About three weeks back He came into our back room. I was the only one working. I was shocked! He looked awesome! He was completely clean, was wearing nice clothes, had a hair cut...he just looked so Normal! He was very nice and asked if I could write him a reference letter for a job he was applying for. I said no problem as I feel that if someone is trying to get on their feet you should give them a helping hand. i wrote him the letter. later that day a lady phoned from the job he was applying for and I gave him a good character reference.
3 days later I saw him in the shoppers drugmart with his stepfather. he told me that he got the job and thanked me for giving him the reference. He looked so happy. I felt great that I had given him the reference. i was hoping that act of kindness would be a turning point in his life.
yesterday he came back to my store when i was working. he was so high he almost fell over a few times. He told me he got fired from the job because he got arrested and couldn't make it to work. he looked so alone and sad.
All i could think about was this 24 year old kid was wasting his life. he had so much potential, he wasn't a bad guy, he just had alot of problems. he could have done anything with his life. he was smart, worked hard..its just so damn depressing.
It really made me wonder why this kid keeps popping up in my life. I guess its better that he pops in and out of it instead of reading his name in the obituaries. I wish there was a way to help him...but I know he has to help himself.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Was Michael Murdered?
I know its been awhile since my last post. I have been struggling with my thoughts and feelings. It is very hard for me to write down my feelings especially about this subject as i am very passionate about what i believe. I know to most people I sound like a raving lunatic...and I am ok with that as I really don't care what people think about me...but what i do care about is the message I am trying to get across. I don't want people to discredit what i am saying because they think I am a crazy fan. Please have an open mind while reading what I write. I am just trying to make sense of a senseless death.
Why would Michael Jackson ever be murdered? Well there are many reasons.
In the 80s and 90s Michael Jackson ruled the world. He had more power over people than the President of the USA. He was a phenomenon. He broke the racial barrier, he sold more albums than anyone in the History of music. He gave away more money to charity than anyone has ever given up until this day. He got so big that no new artists could break into the music industry. He had the best videos...everything was on a grand scale...no one could compete.
What if the music industry turned on him and started to tear him down thinking they could make more money off of muliple artists instead of just one? The powers in charge who ran the music industry also ran the media. As we all know, the media had a field day with Michael and knocked him off his pedastal. What if a family was hired to discredit him...to say he was a pediphile? Of course this charge would never go to court because the boy charging him never had any intention of testifying. Now his reputation was ruined. But then Michael fought back thru song lyrics and interviews...he became very vocal...the people in charge had to shut him up and show him who was boss...so they hired a news journalist to destroy him once and for all. Because of that news journalist and his documentary, as well as another hired family, Michael once again found himself in trouble. But this time he was not going to listen to his advisors...NO! he was going to fight it tooth and nail. He knew the truth.. It was a conpiracy. He fought it...and he won. He went into hiding and a few years later he needed to generate some income and agreed to do a concert series in London. We all know how that turned out. I however do not believe he was a drug addict. I do not believe he had a heart attack. Yes, he had healh problems... but michaels body was his temple. He only ate healthy foods. and for a majority of his life was a strict vegetarian. He kept himself thin and trim while he was working as this made him a better dancer. So many things about his death just don't add up.
I think his personal physician who was a cardiologist and not a anesthesiologist was hired to kill him.
Michael was about to do the biggest concert series ever. It was going to be huge. he would have been bigger than he was in the 80s if he had of pulled it off. the people in charge didn't want him to have that power again. They were busy promoting other artists like lady Gaga, who was the hottest artist at that time.
I am not sure if you have figured it out yet but these other people that are in charge that I am refering to are the illuminati. They control everything...from the songs you listen to to the food you eat to what you watch on t.v. They control it all. At one time they controlled Michael as well until he realised what they were doing...and he had to speak up. Now hes dead.
When his family talks about him being murdered but refuse to name who or why they are refering to the illuminati. They are afraid to speak up because they know if they do they will be killed or a loved one will be. I think Joe jackson sold his sons to the illuminati a long time ago in order for them to become famous. Its like selling your soul to the devil. I will elaborate on that in my next post.
Sometimes the truth can be stranger than fiction.
Why would Michael Jackson ever be murdered? Well there are many reasons.
In the 80s and 90s Michael Jackson ruled the world. He had more power over people than the President of the USA. He was a phenomenon. He broke the racial barrier, he sold more albums than anyone in the History of music. He gave away more money to charity than anyone has ever given up until this day. He got so big that no new artists could break into the music industry. He had the best videos...everything was on a grand scale...no one could compete.
What if the music industry turned on him and started to tear him down thinking they could make more money off of muliple artists instead of just one? The powers in charge who ran the music industry also ran the media. As we all know, the media had a field day with Michael and knocked him off his pedastal. What if a family was hired to discredit him...to say he was a pediphile? Of course this charge would never go to court because the boy charging him never had any intention of testifying. Now his reputation was ruined. But then Michael fought back thru song lyrics and interviews...he became very vocal...the people in charge had to shut him up and show him who was boss...so they hired a news journalist to destroy him once and for all. Because of that news journalist and his documentary, as well as another hired family, Michael once again found himself in trouble. But this time he was not going to listen to his advisors...NO! he was going to fight it tooth and nail. He knew the truth.. It was a conpiracy. He fought it...and he won. He went into hiding and a few years later he needed to generate some income and agreed to do a concert series in London. We all know how that turned out. I however do not believe he was a drug addict. I do not believe he had a heart attack. Yes, he had healh problems... but michaels body was his temple. He only ate healthy foods. and for a majority of his life was a strict vegetarian. He kept himself thin and trim while he was working as this made him a better dancer. So many things about his death just don't add up.
I think his personal physician who was a cardiologist and not a anesthesiologist was hired to kill him.
Michael was about to do the biggest concert series ever. It was going to be huge. he would have been bigger than he was in the 80s if he had of pulled it off. the people in charge didn't want him to have that power again. They were busy promoting other artists like lady Gaga, who was the hottest artist at that time.
I am not sure if you have figured it out yet but these other people that are in charge that I am refering to are the illuminati. They control everything...from the songs you listen to to the food you eat to what you watch on t.v. They control it all. At one time they controlled Michael as well until he realised what they were doing...and he had to speak up. Now hes dead.
When his family talks about him being murdered but refuse to name who or why they are refering to the illuminati. They are afraid to speak up because they know if they do they will be killed or a loved one will be. I think Joe jackson sold his sons to the illuminati a long time ago in order for them to become famous. Its like selling your soul to the devil. I will elaborate on that in my next post.
Sometimes the truth can be stranger than fiction.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Xscape
For the last few weeks I have been trying to figure out where to begin with my next post. Its going to be very hard to explain what I need to say. I decided to just come out and tell you what I believe and why and try to support my thinking with various videos, lyrics, articles and interviews. I know that most will not see it the same way as I do...and thats ok...I have researched this so much, I have read almost everything there is to know about the man...good or bad. Until you have done your own research please do not be negative..I am not saying you have to believe what i have written but at least explore the possibiity.
Basically it comes down to this. I believe Michael is either alive and faked his own death because people were after him and he is in hiding...OR....he was murdered by the people who control the media, music industry and perhaps "The World".
This post will explore him faking his own death.
"WHY" is probably going to be your first thought. If he did fake his own death, I don't blame him. He definately had motive. He owes the world nothing. He gave up his childhood and most of his adulthood to entertain the world and look at how he was repaid. He deserves to have his life back. I hope that if he is alive that he is enjoying his new found freedom with his children.
Yes, his children. I do not believe the children who are currently living with Michaels mother are actually his children. He did everything in his power to shield them from the public to keep them safe. Then 3 months before he died they were seen in public with him...everywhere. why? So the public would reconize them and believe they were his when he alledgedly died. I think he has been planning this for at least the last 10 years. Even his upcoming concerts were part of the plan. It was never meant to be a Concert Series but a Feature Film that would generate millions of dollars for his estate for many many years..not to mention all his record sales after his death as well as memorbilia. Only Michael could pull this off. He was the master of diguise and had the creative mind to think of how to pull it off. How many people film their rehearsal footage in HD?
Your next question is probably going to be Who was after him and why?
For many many years Michael has left subtle hints in his songs about the illuminati trying to control him as well as people trying to get him or punish him. He has spoken about it carefully in interviews as well as at protesting rallies and in other forms.
If you are going to continue to read this site you need to watch this video.
click here
Disregard the Satan/Obama references as well as the ghost of Michael near the end of this video as I am not a believer of either. All other info pertaining to MJ I 100% believe. He was very vocal about this subject in the last 10 years of his life. It is why he was accused with child molestation for the second time. They were warning him to shut his trap and when he didn't they showed him who was really in charge. If you notice in the video, the year was 2001. The same year he was charged with molesting Gavin. I think after the trial he decided to perhaps fake his death as he realised there was no way to defeat them without the publics awareness. No one would listen to him any longer...he was a wacko, pedo, freak who was no longer credible. So he did what was right for him. He vanished.
Xscape song lyrics by Michael Jackson (unreleased by Sony)
Everywhere I turn, no matter where I look
The systems in control, it's all ran by the book
I've got to get away so I can clear my mind,
Xscape is what I need,
Away from electric eyes
No matter where I am, I see my face around
They then ask on my name, and push from town to town
Don't have a place to run, but there's no need to hide,
I've got to, find a place,
So I won't hide away
Xscape, got to get away from a system lose in the world today
Xscape, the pressure that I face from relationships that's gone away
Xscape, the man with the pen that writes the lies that hassle this man
Xscape, I do what I wanna cause I gotta face nobody but me
Sometimes I feel like
I've gotta get away
I tried to share my life with someone I could love
But games and money is all she ever thought of
How could that be my fault when she gambled and lost?
I'm tired of silly games,
It's time to make a change
Why is it I can't do whatever I want to?
Went in my personal life and I don't live for you
So don't you try to tell me what is right for me
You be concerned about you,
I can do what I want to
Xscape,got to get away from a system lose in the world today
Xscape, the pressure that I face from relationships that's gone away
Xscape, the man with the pen that writes the lies that hassle this man
Xscape, I do what I wanna cause I gotta face nobody but me
Xscape,got to get away from a system lose in the world today
Xscape, the pressure that I face from relationships that's gone away
Xscape,the man with the pen that writes the lies that hassle this
man
Xscape, I do what I wanna cause I gotta face nobody but me
When I go, this problem world won't bother me no more
Xscape
Xscape
Xscape
Xscape
Xscape, got to get away from a system lose in the world today
Xscape, the pressure that I face from relationships that's gone away
Xscape, the man with the pen that writes the lies that hassle this man
Xscape, I do what I wanna cause I gotta face nobody but me
Xscape, got to get away from a system lose in the world today
Xscape, the pressure that I face from relationships that's gone away
Xscape, the man with the pen that writes the lies that hassle this man
Xscape, I do what I wanna cause I gotta face nobody but me
Xscape, got to get away
Xscape, the pressure that I face
Xscape, the man with the pen
Xscape, I do what I wanna cause I gotta face nobody but me
Xscape
Xscape,
Got to get away
Xscape,
The pressure that I face
Xscape,
The man with the pen
Xscape,
I do what I wanna
I do what I wanna cause I gotta face nobody but me
Xscape
Another MUST WATCH video: Click Here
Heres another article that is related
click Here
I know I have given you alot to think about...probably too much to process...i just have so much info...that I need to post..Thats it for now. I will give you a few days to watch the vid and read the other pages.
Basically it comes down to this. I believe Michael is either alive and faked his own death because people were after him and he is in hiding...OR....he was murdered by the people who control the media, music industry and perhaps "The World".
This post will explore him faking his own death.
"WHY" is probably going to be your first thought. If he did fake his own death, I don't blame him. He definately had motive. He owes the world nothing. He gave up his childhood and most of his adulthood to entertain the world and look at how he was repaid. He deserves to have his life back. I hope that if he is alive that he is enjoying his new found freedom with his children.
Yes, his children. I do not believe the children who are currently living with Michaels mother are actually his children. He did everything in his power to shield them from the public to keep them safe. Then 3 months before he died they were seen in public with him...everywhere. why? So the public would reconize them and believe they were his when he alledgedly died. I think he has been planning this for at least the last 10 years. Even his upcoming concerts were part of the plan. It was never meant to be a Concert Series but a Feature Film that would generate millions of dollars for his estate for many many years..not to mention all his record sales after his death as well as memorbilia. Only Michael could pull this off. He was the master of diguise and had the creative mind to think of how to pull it off. How many people film their rehearsal footage in HD?
Your next question is probably going to be Who was after him and why?
For many many years Michael has left subtle hints in his songs about the illuminati trying to control him as well as people trying to get him or punish him. He has spoken about it carefully in interviews as well as at protesting rallies and in other forms.
If you are going to continue to read this site you need to watch this video.
click here
Disregard the Satan/Obama references as well as the ghost of Michael near the end of this video as I am not a believer of either. All other info pertaining to MJ I 100% believe. He was very vocal about this subject in the last 10 years of his life. It is why he was accused with child molestation for the second time. They were warning him to shut his trap and when he didn't they showed him who was really in charge. If you notice in the video, the year was 2001. The same year he was charged with molesting Gavin. I think after the trial he decided to perhaps fake his death as he realised there was no way to defeat them without the publics awareness. No one would listen to him any longer...he was a wacko, pedo, freak who was no longer credible. So he did what was right for him. He vanished.
Xscape song lyrics by Michael Jackson (unreleased by Sony)
Everywhere I turn, no matter where I look
The systems in control, it's all ran by the book
I've got to get away so I can clear my mind,
Xscape is what I need,
Away from electric eyes
No matter where I am, I see my face around
They then ask on my name, and push from town to town
Don't have a place to run, but there's no need to hide,
I've got to, find a place,
So I won't hide away
Xscape, got to get away from a system lose in the world today
Xscape, the pressure that I face from relationships that's gone away
Xscape, the man with the pen that writes the lies that hassle this man
Xscape, I do what I wanna cause I gotta face nobody but me
Sometimes I feel like
I've gotta get away
I tried to share my life with someone I could love
But games and money is all she ever thought of
How could that be my fault when she gambled and lost?
I'm tired of silly games,
It's time to make a change
Why is it I can't do whatever I want to?
Went in my personal life and I don't live for you
So don't you try to tell me what is right for me
You be concerned about you,
I can do what I want to
Xscape,got to get away from a system lose in the world today
Xscape, the pressure that I face from relationships that's gone away
Xscape, the man with the pen that writes the lies that hassle this man
Xscape, I do what I wanna cause I gotta face nobody but me
Xscape,got to get away from a system lose in the world today
Xscape, the pressure that I face from relationships that's gone away
Xscape,the man with the pen that writes the lies that hassle this
man
Xscape, I do what I wanna cause I gotta face nobody but me
When I go, this problem world won't bother me no more
Xscape
Xscape
Xscape
Xscape
Xscape, got to get away from a system lose in the world today
Xscape, the pressure that I face from relationships that's gone away
Xscape, the man with the pen that writes the lies that hassle this man
Xscape, I do what I wanna cause I gotta face nobody but me
Xscape, got to get away from a system lose in the world today
Xscape, the pressure that I face from relationships that's gone away
Xscape, the man with the pen that writes the lies that hassle this man
Xscape, I do what I wanna cause I gotta face nobody but me
Xscape, got to get away
Xscape, the pressure that I face
Xscape, the man with the pen
Xscape, I do what I wanna cause I gotta face nobody but me
Xscape
Xscape,
Got to get away
Xscape,
The pressure that I face
Xscape,
The man with the pen
Xscape,
I do what I wanna
I do what I wanna cause I gotta face nobody but me
Xscape
Another MUST WATCH video: Click Here
Heres another article that is related
click Here
I know I have given you alot to think about...probably too much to process...i just have so much info...that I need to post..Thats it for now. I will give you a few days to watch the vid and read the other pages.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Wake UP People!!!
We are all being controlled. By the media, Television, radio, magazines, and music. I may sound nuts...but seriously...its true.
For instance, lets take television. You sit there watching your shows and a commercial comes on. They show a big..juicy..charbroiled burger, dripping special sauce...in slow motion. Everything looks fresh and it makes your mouth water. You know what it tastes like because they are formulated to taste the same everytime. Its not food but a science. The fries they show are crispy looking and sprinkled with salt...they look so good you can almost taste them. You might even smell them. Some of you might even get so overpowered by the image and your memories, that you jump in your car and hit the drivethru. Do you know why? You have been programed over many years of being exposed to this.
Look at Tim Hortons. People will literally sit in the drivethru for 30 mins every morning for.....A COFFEE!!!!!!!!!!!! To me that is insane. In the city I live in, 2 men got into a fist fight in the drivethru because the one guy thought the other guy took too long to order. There have been rumors for ages now that Tim Hortons is putting Nicatine in there food and coffee...Personally I wouldn't be surprised because the only way I would sit in a drivethru for that long for a coffee is if it was my Crack(haha)
And it doesn't stop there. After you bring home your bag of grease that looks NOTHING like it did on the commercial you stuff your face, and then other commercials come on...Jenny Craig, weightwatchers, gym membership commercials. You feel bloated, unhealthy and downright FAT!! You think, Jeez, I have a problem. I need to get healthy. The people in the commercial are so thin and fit, that there is no way the average person could ever acheive their size...but they enthusiasically tell you that you can do it too! They used to be just like you! Overweight, overeaters, etc. So what do you do? You join a gym, or Jenny Craig and pay big bucks to do so. So who really wins here? Not you!! You are unhealthy and just spent a shitload of money on a gym membership or meal plan to get results that are not realistic. You get discouraged and fall back into your old habits, and the vicious cycle repeats itself.
I know you are all wondering what the hell this all has to do with Michael jackson...but seriously it has alot to do with him. I will explain it in another upcoming post. Until my next post, pay attention to what you are watching, buying, reading and ask yourself this...do I really want to be eating this? do I really need a new livingroom set? Do I really believe what this newscaster is telling me on CNN?
Wake Up people. Take control of your life. Pay attention to what is going on right in front of you.
I'll be back........
p.s. If you click the titles of my posts there is usually a related video link to go with the post. Todays link is totally geared towards the hungry young man. haha this commercial is a double whammy as they not only use food but also sex to lure the viewer.
Food and sex...Men don't have a chance! lol
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Gone Too Soon
I can remember sitting on our deck with my husband, having a few drinks before dinner. I believe it was my day off and I had just gotten out of the pool. My husband was cooking steak on the BBQ and I was cooking perogies inside on the stove and would check them periodically. It was a very hot day, even for June.
We were sitting there chatting and enjoying the day when my youngest daughter came running out of the house saying that Michael Jackson was dead. I started to laugh. Yeah right. The media is at it again. I had just read an article that week stating that MJ had just had plastic surgery on his ears because they had taken all the cartilage from them to rebuild his nose. Another said he had the flesh eating disease and was seeing his plastic surgeon on a regular basis because he was afraid his face would be completely eaten off from the infection. So no, I did not believe he was dead. It took her much coaxing to get me to come into the house to see it on the news. The only reason i did was to prove her wrong. Michael was my hero, my idol, I worshipped him. He could not be dead.
I watched a few news stations and was hearing the same thing from them all. I still would not let myself believe it. I went on the internet and googled his name...and that is when it hit me. He was dead. There were literally hundreds of thousands of news sites saying that he had passed away....I broke down in my husbands arms and cried like I had lost my best friend. I was completely and utterly devastated. I think I cried harder when he died than when my grandmother died. I know that sounds awful, but his death was so sudden, his future looked so bright with his upcoming concerts, he had his children, what would happen to them?
I never ate my dinner. I went to bed and cried and cried for hours. I had another blog at that time and posted this on it,
"As you have probably heard Michael Jackson has passed away of a heart attack. If you follow my site at all you will know that MJ was my hero, my inspiration, and a huge part of my life. I grew up with him, listening to all my Jackson 5 records, following everything in the news and magazines about him, I have googled his name everyday since getting a computer. Some may say I am obsessed but I just connected with him and his music. I really understood what he was trying to say, his vision, how he was trying to get us to see the big picture. If only people listened to his message and didn't pay so much attention to his eccentricities...and the Press.
When I heard about the accusations that he was inappropriate with children, never once did I think it was true. I followed his trial and wept when he was acquitted of all charges. He was acquitted because he didn't do it, but still to this day the Press brings it up in every article that is printed about him.
I have ran many miles with Michael, as he is my inspiration, and basically through his music, he gives me the energy and the will to continue on until I can run no more. Over half the songs on my ipod are Michael Jackson songs.
I was so excited about his upcoming concerts and could not wait for him to make a complete comeback and show the world that he was not giving up, that he was not the weirdo that the press has made him out to be. Sure he was eccentric but most genius's are. And he was a genius...he always made sure that we were talking about him, whether it was about his glove, his surgicial mask, his taped fingers...he kept us intrigued. The press however liked to twist everything because as you know, bad press sells more mags than good press. The more of a freak they made him out to be, the more people ate it up until it became truth in their minds.
I am completely devastated. How do you explain to people that you are heartbroken over someone you have never met? I feel lost, and empty..like he took my soul with him.
One thing that is really pissing me off though is how the press is talking about what a great man he was, and a wonderful humanitarian, when a few weeks ago he was a piece of shit. I think its so sad. Like I said a long time ago, It will take Michael's death for the world to see what a gift they had...but then it will be too late....he will be gone...and now he is.. I think he was the most misunderstood and lonely person that ever walked the earth. I loved him, I am not ashamed to say that..I will always love him and glad he is finally at peace."
It has been over a year and when i think about that day it still brings tears to my eyes. They say the death of a person gets easier over time...but its just as painful if not more so, he had such a great message...and the thing is...it was so simple.
Love each other, all races are equal. The blood inside of me is inside of you. This to me is the most important message of all. If everyone thought like this there would be no war. You can make the world a better place if you start with yourself. He was such a brilliant man...musically, artistically, as well as spiritually.
I am not sure I will ever get over his death. I am hoping that by writing here and letting my feelings out that it will eventually get easier. He was such a big part of my life...and still is. I miss him alot.
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