Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Rise and Fall of a King


I was very excited when Thriller first came out. It was a new solo album and I could not wait to get my hands on a copy. My step brother Tom and I went to Sam the Record Man downtown in the City I had just moved to after my parents divorce. I bought Thriller and he bought Synchronicity by the Police. He told me that MJ was gay and that the album would suck...that the Police were way cooler. LOL we all know how that turned out.



When Thriller took the world by storm, I was kind of confused about how it made me feel. I had always longed for people to appreciate his talent including his singing, his dancing and his look. It just felt wrong watching the people who had snubbed him before because he was black, or trashed him for singing in too high of a voice and accusing him of taking female hormones to hit the high notes, all of a sudden idolize him. After a while I couldn't even listen to the album. To me it felt like he sold out for fame...To this day it is still my least favorite album.

When Bad came out, I refused to buy it. I guess I was mad at him for becoming bigger than life. I felt like he left me behind...I am not sure if this is going to make sense to anyone....I don't really understand it myself. I used him and his music to get through alot of hard times in my early life and I guess I thought of him as being mine. I didn't want to share him with the world. So I ignored his music and him even though it was ALWAYS on T.V, he was ALWAYS on Awards shows, and in the media.

When Dangerous came out, I was again going through a hard time in my life. I had just given birth to my oldest daughter. I had just turned 18 and was in an abusive relationship. My daughters father was never home and when he was, he made my life hell. When my daughter was about 10 months, her and I used to watch footage on the news of Michael performing on tour in different countries. Thats how big he was...THAT was News!! I remembered how much he used to mean to me, how much I had missed him and began to let him back into my life.

After the allegations of abuse took place in 1993, I did not advertise that I loved Michael and believed he was innocent. I am ashamed that I did not stand up for him back then, and cared more for what people thought about me than about defending him. I secretly listened to his music when no one was around for many years.

I eventually left my ex, and am now married to a wonderful man.
When my oldest daughter was 12 I bought her two Jackson 5 CDs for Christmas. She loved them and became almost as big a fan as I am. It was something that the 2 of us could share together. She used Michael's music in the same way as I had as a child. She was very attached to her father and was devastated when he did not pick her up for his weekend visits. she used to cry and cry in her room with michaels soothing voice comforting her.

Her love of Michael made me realise how much he meant to me and I decided to tell the world my secret. I told everyone who would listen. I realised that I couldn't fight it...he was a part of me.

Then he was accused of child molestion for the 2nd time, and was going to trial. I did not believe the allegations. I knew it was a lie. I was not going to turn my back on him again...I was going to stand by him and defend him to anyone who challenged me.



Monday, June 28, 2010

My Forever Came Today

My first racial experience took place in a small farming community in Northern Ontario in the mid 70's. The population of this town at that time was 500 people who were all white. I do not remember there being any other nationalities in the community until the mid 80's.

For my birthday every year since since the age of 5, I recieved a Jackson 5 record from my parents as a gift. I had my own stereo complete with speakers and a record player in my bedroom. I can remember laying on my bed listening to Michael's voice singing "Forever Came Today" and wishing he was singing to me. I used to peer into his eyes on the "Forever Michael" record cover and kiss him. I planned to marry him when I grew up. It never dawned on me that this would never happen...a) because he was rich and famous and could have any girl he chose...b) he was much older than I was...14 yrs to be exact and c) he was Black and I was White...a huge no no back then.

One day when I was around the age of 7, I invited 3 friends up to my bedroom to listen to my stereo. I, of course, put on a Jackson 5 song (I believe it was ABC) and started to dance. Someone asked who was playing. (They all listened to Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton who both were very popular at that time). I held up my album cover and said it was the Jackson 5 and that I was in love with Michael. The 3 girls looked at each other with disgust on their faces. One girl said EWWW. I asked what was wrong...and the girl replied that he was Black.

I remember feeling really disappointed, not that I had to stop listening to his music to fit in, but disappointed that they didn't see and hear what I did, that they were judging him because of his skin and not is talent, something that the rest of the world did up until his death. From that early age I knew that this was wrong.

Their criticism of him only made me love him more. He became mine. I didn't have to share him. He was there during the nights when my parents fought with each other, when i had no one to tell my problems to. He was there when my parents finally divorced and we had to move to a bigger city so my mom could work.

Then the unthinkable happened...The album "Thriller" was released and Michael was no longer mine. He belonged to the World. He would not only become a Legend but a Supernova...and completely out of my reach forever...

Forever Came Today

click above link

Jesus walked on Water...but Michael Danced on Air...