The Rise and Fall of a King

I was very excited when Thriller first came out. It was a new solo album and I could not wait to get my hands on a copy. My step brother Tom and I went to Sam the Record Man downtown in the City I had just moved to after my parents divorce. I bought Thriller and he bought Synchronicity by the Police. He told me that MJ was gay and that the album would suck...that the Police were way cooler. LOL we all know how that turned out.



When Thriller took the world by storm, I was kind of confused about how it made me feel. I had always longed for people to appreciate his talent including his singing, his dancing and his look. It just felt wrong watching the people who had snubbed him before because he was black, or trashed him for singing in too high of a voice and accusing him of taking female hormones to hit the high notes, all of a sudden idolize him. After a while I couldn't even listen to the album. To me it felt like he sold out for fame...To this day it is still my least favorite album.

When Bad came out, I refused to buy it. I guess I was mad at him for becoming bigger than life. I felt like he left me behind...I am not sure if this is going to make sense to anyone....I don't really understand it myself. I used him and his music to get through alot of hard times in my early life and I guess I thought of him as being mine. I didn't want to share him with the world. So I ignored his music and him even though it was ALWAYS on T.V, he was ALWAYS on Awards shows, and in the media.

When Dangerous came out, I was again going through a hard time in my life. I had just given birth to my oldest daughter. I had just turned 18 and was in an abusive relationship. My daughters father was never home and when he was, he made my life hell. When my daughter was about 10 months, her and I used to watch footage on the news of Michael performing on tour in different countries. Thats how big he was...THAT was News!! I remembered how much he used to mean to me, how much I had missed him and began to let him back into my life.

After the allegations of abuse took place in 1993, I did not advertise that I loved Michael and believed he was innocent. I am ashamed that I did not stand up for him back then, and cared more for what people thought about me than about defending him. I secretly listened to his music when no one was around for many years.

I eventually left my ex, and am now married to a wonderful man.
When my oldest daughter was 12 I bought her two Jackson 5 CDs for Christmas. She loved them and became almost as big a fan as I am. It was something that the 2 of us could share together. She used Michael's music in the same way as I had as a child. She was very attached to her father and was devastated when he did not pick her up for his weekend visits. she used to cry and cry in her room with michaels soothing voice comforting her.

Her love of Michael made me realise how much he meant to me and I decided to tell the world my secret. I told everyone who would listen. I realised that I couldn't fight it...he was a part of me.

Then he was accused of child molestion for the 2nd time, and was going to trial. I did not believe the allegations. I knew it was a lie. I was not going to turn my back on him again...I was going to stand by him and defend him to anyone who challenged me.